Competition is an inherent feature of many peoples nature. It seems that all you need to do is show someone a record and they will do what ever they can to break it. I had the dubious honor of holding all the records on the Wii Fit for Hula Hooping. Considering I am 42 years old and male, that is a major accomplishment. I however made a terrible mistake. I made a challenge to a 10 year old girl to try and beat my record. Little did I know that she is like some kind of bionic super human Hula Hooping machine. Raised in Russia during the cold war to do nothing but destroy American morale by beating all at a true American sport, the hula hoop. Cryogenically frozen and made to look like an American girl, she re-emerged to strike down a true American in his Hula hoop prime. She systematically destroyed all of my records. So now with an arsenal of Rocky theme songs, I am on a mission to regain my title and bring back pride to all of the real Americans. Flowers can be sent to me care of Henry Ford Hospital Orthopedic wing.
